Journey to Find the One 4 Me

why?
why do i feel this way?
i try mi hardest ta keep it hidden
but all the time mi brain gets overidden
with sorrow & sadness
it's complicated even for mi ta understand it
though i try mi best to hide it with a smile
the smile turns to tears and im stuck in sorrow's mile.
it brings mi ta tears just thinking about it
i wanna be with someone that's gonna love mi 4 mi
but always end up in a relationship where i dont wanna be
hurt n lied to
so i can be angry n cry too
this whole thing is really
but i wish someone could juss see the real me
love me for who i am
not for who they want me ta be
pain wreaks within mi heart
man i wish i could go back to the start
the start of a new
a way i could undo
past heartbreaks
painful heart aches
so much of this can make a person hate
hate love
hate everything involved
but honestly i hate lies the most because they are the cause
of pain
of selfish gain
it brings tha rain
makes it even harder to let go of tha pain
wish i could juss forget it all,
wish i didnt fall
so hard
so fast
man will it even last?
last long enough for love?
maybe...maybe not
im not having high hopes
those hopes might as well rot
the sorrow continues until i am no more
will i ever be with someone that's gonna stay wit me thru all tha wars
all the rain?
all the pain?
that right there would be something to gain
but as for now im on a journey
to find the one
made for me.

Thru Tha Pain

why?
why do i have these feelings?
why do they sink deep inside me?
when i kno i got him right beside me?
i still feel this way
he keeps helping me everday
picking up the broken pieces of mi heart
making everything better like it was
at the start
many things going through mi mind
many people goin out of line
sayin things to hurt mi
and honestly
it does hurt but i learn to deal wit tha tretchery
the lies and such
its ok
cuz i will be ok
i wont cry
n i wont try
i'll be strong
i'll hold on
do what i gotta do
n move on
i can't stay broken hearted for too long
cuz then that phase will be too strong
too strong
for me ta move on
and no room for him to be in mi heart
cuz i kno he wants ta play that part
wants ta be mi knight
wants ta be Mr. Right
that would be tight
but all i'm thinking is can i do this again
can i let love take mi in?
will i let it win?
a tug or war on mi heart
who knows who will win?
will it be love inside or mi?
or mi spirit within?
when i find out
i'll let you kno
the time has come
i have to go
but until it ends
mi man will be standing right beside mi
in the tha rain
helping mi through this
trying pain.