These Past Few Days.....Nuff Said....

These past few days have been hectic but it's all good I'm gonna be on my chill and do me like no stressing no problems letting everything go and gonna do me regardless of anyone else.

"Feels so good when you're doing all the things you wanna do, get the best outta life treat yourself to something new. It's a really good thing to say that I won't change my life, my life's just fine."

Happy Birthday to ME!!!! YAY =D Sweet 16!!!!

Mah my birthday is today!! Omg sooo happy man like finally 16!! but the only messed up part is mah party has been postponed...It's okay though I'ma still enjoy mah day n have fun while doing it. I hope that this day is as fun as it should be and I love all mah clones n peoples. Happy birthday to mah Aunt Margie, mah clone Ipiphany, mah yung bull Alyssa n mah friend Daeshaun. Love you guys!!!

Happy Belated Birthday to mah yung bull Avery, Alyssa Wallace, and Fred Ivy.

OMG Super Sweet 16 In 2 Dayz!!!

Man I can't wait til my birthday on Thursday like man being 16 is a big deal for me because it really marks that time where I can really say I've grown up. But at the same time it's like more emotional and mental changes are happening and sometimes I don't know how to handle them...I wells like they say just take it one day at a time...

"I'm 16 and I shouldn't have to feel like this
16 and every young boy out here wanna kiss me
16 and me and my momma going thru it
16 on the block
16 on the block." ---Karina Pasian

The 1 & Only Force....¡Ay díos mío! Estoy un poquito triste pero estoy ok!

I don't really know how I feel today it's kind of been up and down like I want to be happy but then like something still pulls at me not to be. Although I am happy for mah bestie birthday today. Yay her, she turns 16 today and I'm real excited for her.I'm really digging this dude and he's a real cutie, hmmm...pursue or not to pursue. This is gonna take a couple months to decide oh well we'll see what happens. And if you're wondering NO he's not the guy I was talking about from the previous post this is someone else. But like idk he's a really great person. *Sighs* oh well we'll see....anyways lemme give ya'll some new pics of mah friendz n stuff lol =)

*Sigh*....I Wish I Could Put That Awesome Boy In My World

Man I really like this boy he's a really cool person it's just there's a lot going on for both of us and we're both know we're digging each other but like idk....something's stopping us and we don't really know what. Hmm....I think I know tho....=/...maybe I don't oh well we'll see what the future has in store for us.

Peace And Harmony Is In An Ordinance Today

Today I just want to have a peaceful day, no drama nothing and so far it has proved to be successful. Hopefully God will keep it that way...I'm thining about going outside but idk yet...=/ oh well who cares it's too early to decide any how. Last thing I'ma leave ya'll with is this:

"But what you don't know is when she get home
and get behind closed doors man she hit the floor
and what you can't see is she on her knees
If you ask her she'll tell you
It's the God in me " ---Mary Mary

New School Year....New Me

Well school year has started and it's going pretty good, I got my best friends, Gina, Maya, Brandon, and Sammy and I finally free of my exes. They no longer hold my heart only I do. I'm proud of how I've found myself over the summer and finally know not only what I want in a guy but what I want in life. I've finally found myself and I'm finally happy even with or without a dude....

Confused...Sum What Hurt But Mostly Confused....

UGGGGH I'm so lost bout what I should do...I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place tryna get out but it's not working....*Sigh* Oh the agony....

Song of the Day - Lions, & Tigers, & Bears - Jazmin Sullivan

This song is really cool I love it n it expressed how I feel about relationships n how most girls feel about relationships and the way they see things when it comes to relationships. I know that's still how I feel even though I have mi BOOSKIE LoL, here wit me.

Song of the Day - For You - Kenny Lattimore

I love this song like its tha best. This is what mi booskie got me thinking bout. LoL Check it out. I know it's old but its pretty cool. Idk I guess I'm just stuck on the oldies.

Song of the Day - Beyoncé - Ego

This song is tha best I just love it. The main thing I love is it's double meaning LoL. But overall I think Beyoncé did an exquisite job on this album. Although its not as good as B'Day it's got a more melllowing tone now that's she's grown up more.

Song of the Day - Love & Sex & Magic - Ciara

This is one of those groovy sexy songs right here. Luv it. Ciara doing her thing on this album right here. It shows her growth as a person and an artist. FANTASY RIDE CHECK DAT OUT WHEN IT HITS STORES!!!!ß

Song of the Day - Brian McKnight - What We Do Here

Today's song of the day I've been trying to find for months. If anyone has this song plz send me a comment and let me know.

Song of the Day - Hello - Beyoncé

Today's song of the day is called Hello by Beyoncé. I love this song but I'm not sure why but it kinda just grew on me. But honestly it's a really cool song.

FINALLY....I Came To A Decision xD

I decided that I'ma give us another shot. I still love him and he still loves me. If it doesn't work then it don't but all I know is that I wouldn't wanna be with anyone but him. That's how much he got my heart. Yes, Chelsea Luvs Her Booskie Daeshaun ALL DAY [Love U Babe ♥] ☺

Sometimes love comes around
(love comes around love comes around)
and it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(knocks you down) ------Keri Hilson

Hmm....Still Not Sure

Ugh still haven't come up with a decision yet but I'm working on it...Idk y dis situation got me trippin so hard. Then I got people pretending like everything is gravy with me n them. Ugh I swear I hate fake ass niggas they annoy me to the fullest and to think I was actually tryna be cool with them. Screw it n all them hoes. I'ma be as cold and heartless as the next.

"In the night, I hear 'em talk,
The coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul
to a woman so heartless...
How could you be so heartless?
Oh... How could you be so heartless?" -----Kanye West

Today was.....THOUGHTFUL :-/

Today was the very first time I actually thought about a certain situation in my life the entire day. Like it had me thinking all day. N I've come to understand the situation, possible options, and the consequences of them. But still I'm unsure of what I'ma do. *SIGH* Decisions, decisions....

Got BORED So I Made This

In My Bag Today

Today I was pretty cheerful. Pretty much in my bag tha whole day and barely lost my cool lol. I know ppl talk ish about me but it's cool cuz HATERZ MAKE ME FAMOUS. n that's all I gotta say. U SEE ME HI HATER. BYE HATER. LoL But u kno i loves everybody including tha haters cuz they help me prosper n become a better me.

Today was cool

Today I had a pretty good day. Nothing went horrible but everything seemed calm. One of firsts days like this. lol

Pretender - New

Pretender

I'm tired of pretending
Pretending that nothing's wrong
Cuz I been pretending for way too long
I'm tired of pretending
to be happy inside
I'm tired of pretending
when I kno I'm dying inside
]I'm tired of people pretending
they care
I'm tired people pretending
they wannna be there
for me
for Lil Ci Ci
Most of they BS make me queasy
I'm tired of pretending
that I'm ot being lied tio
I'm tired of pretending
he's here by my side too
I'm tired of pretending
I'm tired of it all
I'm tired pretending I don't
feel this small
I'm tired of the pretenders
tryna befreind me
But then I think about it
and the biggest pretender in my life
is me.
I'm tired of the make
believe and the just pretend
Cuz I don't wanna see
this bethe end
of me
takign all of my energy
killing me inside
wanting to go and hide
in the darkness with no guide
with nobody to ride
with me
thru this pain
thru this storm
and thru this rain.
I'm tired of pretending
I don't care about you
I'm tired of pretending
Cuz I know I do
I'm tired of pretending
that you're not still in my heart
I'm tired of pretending
Cuz you've been stuck there since we fell apart
I'm tired of pretending
I don't love you no more
I'm tired of pretending
Cuz I'm not even totally sure
whether I still love you or not
Cuz sum other gurl could be taking my spot
I'm tired of pretening
I'm real hard and ruthless
Tired of pretending
Cuz I'm the one looking stupid
When asked questions about you
I don't knwo what to do.
I get on the defensive
then things I say get real offensive
I'm tired of pretending
I know what to do
Cuz I already know
I can't do this without you
you, Maya, Gina, Sammy, and the rest
I'm tired of feeling like I'm alone
When I kno I got the best
Sometimes I feel attacked
I feel hurt
And the mixture of both of 'em together
Makes you feel worse
I feel like no one understands
Like no one knows
All the hurt and pain I feel
Maybe only God knows
But I pray to God
to take the pain away
Make it like a bad drean on a rainy day
Make it fade away
Out of my memory
Not where I wanna be
Wishing I could just leave my body
and let my soul wonder
wanting to just ponder
Ponder everything over yonder
I'm tired of pretending
that nothing ever hurts me
when I just feel the most hurt
coming from those who love me
Not all wounds heal
and not all scars show
Ciz I been feeling this
way for a while on tha low
But now it's eaten me inside
Practically eaten me alive
Deminished all my pride
I'm tired of pretending and it's
coming to an end
U want sum advice?
Here's some
DOn't to me and pretend.

Pretender

Pretender
I'm tired of ppl pretending
saying they care
when I know
they rlly not there
they don't wanna say
what they want
but lie to my face
Feeling like I'm being replaced
Pretend what they want
just for show
just so the one will
think they know
How they feel about me
Pretender
Ppl pretend around me all the time
ppl pretend they like me
then turn on me
at the drop of a dime
I feel attacked
I feel hurt
I feel so lost
that it feels
like it's not gonna end
Just one thing I'ma say
Pleaz dont Pretend.

ALLLLLREADY

Already this morning somebody pissed me off n it's like 8:00 in tha morning ppl already starting with me. Forget this today I'm snapping on ppl and idc who catches it im sooo done.

Feliz Madres Dia - Happy Mother's Day

I wanna say Happy Mother's Day To ALL Mothers. Much Love
This is what I did for my mom for Mother's Day.

R U Serious???

Don't you hate it when people think you're stupid or something like you're not smart enough to add 2 and 2 together to get 4? People swear I'm stupid I swear and it gets more and more annoying everyday. They lie to you, talk behind your back then smile up in your face. I just don't get it why do they think you're that stupid to just swallow what they say. Somebody tell me please cuz I just don't get it personally.

WTF???

There have been a lot of wtf??? moments in my day but one topped all the others. How would you feel if someone you liked was messin with someone you disliked? Even worse, they treat them better than they treat u? But they tell you they wanna be your friend. Not much of a friend huh? That's a wtf??? moment from my day. I keep wondering whether the entire male race will change. That's a million dollar question with a ten dollar answer. Ya feel me? Dueces.

Emotions

Emotions
emotions rolling round inside me
emotions
tryna fake a smile and hide the real me
emotions
feeling these sad feelings in spite of he,
he who can't be
be with me
but wanting us to be the way we used to be
emotions
feeling like my world is crumbling
my emotions go out of control and keep tumbling
emotions
feeling like it's raining
but it's only raining on me
emotions
feeling like I don't wanna live today
not wanting to feel this way
but sometimes I wish I could just fade away
From the drama
The boyz
and all in between
But when my thoughts go bad
I can come off really mean
snapping out,
pissed off at the world
man it really sucks to be a girl
emotions
all them going out of control
but I know I'll neva be alone
cuz that's not how I roll
emotions
so many....so much
I wish I didn't have them
Oh what such luck
emotions
Thinking bout the good times
And how he used to make me feel when he was mines
feeling like I lost the greatest love of all time
I loved him with all my heart
I knew I would right from the start
Our love was like a priceless work of art
emotions
What I'm feeling now?
I don't know
I could be bien, mal, o tranquilo
emotions
to all my haterz I say screw you
but to the one I love I say
do you?
think of me anymore?
of this I can be sure
emotions
One time love came around
And it knocked me down
Still struggling to get up
Hopefully when it comes around again
I won't be set up
to fall
lose it all
again
another friend
emotions
I'm so lost
Out in the darkness with no guide
wanting to hide
what's inside
swallowing my pride
letting stuff ride
emotions
I feel alone
when I'm surrounded by friends
but the silence speaks loud
my head's in the clouds
tryna call out
for help
for hope
keep trying and trying
is it here yet?
Nope.
emotions
Anger brewing inside me
feeling the aggression and depression
settling beside me
the old me is dead and gone...
but for how long?
maybe til somebody test me
then I'mma have to resurrect me
go back to the way I used to be
but luckily
I've come too far from where I started from where I started from
too lose it all now
but I feel like I'm finna lose it
but how?
how do I keep from becoming that monster?
easy, just watch her
don't give in
even though your pride may want you to pound her face in
emotions
Happiness and joy surround part of me
Half just wants love and honesty
The other half doesn't care, just wants to party
and dance
dance my pain away
hoping this rain will just fade away
and make way
for happiness
and joy
but the best part of all
I don't need no boy
to bring me joy
I can be happy wit me
emotions
Haterz, don't like me?
your loss
but I bet in a few years
you'll be calling me
Miss Boss
don't get it backwards, criss-cross
emotions
At a loss?
for words?
for me?
Never that
I'm always here to pick up what you seem to lack
My flow is relentless
Not tryna end this
But my real intent is
to spill out all thoughts and past situations
tryna get 'em to stop and just end
but never ever should I try to drown myself in
My word stay bold and intense
But just like Ne-yo says,
I AM Miss Independent

Journey to Find the One 4 Me

why?
why do i feel this way?
i try mi hardest ta keep it hidden
but all the time mi brain gets overidden
with sorrow & sadness
it's complicated even for mi ta understand it
though i try mi best to hide it with a smile
the smile turns to tears and im stuck in sorrow's mile.
it brings mi ta tears just thinking about it
i wanna be with someone that's gonna love mi 4 mi
but always end up in a relationship where i dont wanna be
hurt n lied to
so i can be angry n cry too
this whole thing is really
but i wish someone could juss see the real me
love me for who i am
not for who they want me ta be
pain wreaks within mi heart
man i wish i could go back to the start
the start of a new
a way i could undo
past heartbreaks
painful heart aches
so much of this can make a person hate
hate love
hate everything involved
but honestly i hate lies the most because they are the cause
of pain
of selfish gain
it brings tha rain
makes it even harder to let go of tha pain
wish i could juss forget it all,
wish i didnt fall
so hard
so fast
man will it even last?
last long enough for love?
maybe...maybe not
im not having high hopes
those hopes might as well rot
the sorrow continues until i am no more
will i ever be with someone that's gonna stay wit me thru all tha wars
all the rain?
all the pain?
that right there would be something to gain
but as for now im on a journey
to find the one
made for me.

Thru Tha Pain

why?
why do i have these feelings?
why do they sink deep inside me?
when i kno i got him right beside me?
i still feel this way
he keeps helping me everday
picking up the broken pieces of mi heart
making everything better like it was
at the start
many things going through mi mind
many people goin out of line
sayin things to hurt mi
and honestly
it does hurt but i learn to deal wit tha tretchery
the lies and such
its ok
cuz i will be ok
i wont cry
n i wont try
i'll be strong
i'll hold on
do what i gotta do
n move on
i can't stay broken hearted for too long
cuz then that phase will be too strong
too strong
for me ta move on
and no room for him to be in mi heart
cuz i kno he wants ta play that part
wants ta be mi knight
wants ta be Mr. Right
that would be tight
but all i'm thinking is can i do this again
can i let love take mi in?
will i let it win?
a tug or war on mi heart
who knows who will win?
will it be love inside or mi?
or mi spirit within?
when i find out
i'll let you kno
the time has come
i have to go
but until it ends
mi man will be standing right beside mi
in the tha rain
helping mi through this
trying pain.

Wanted By Many

Hey peoples I have this new poem I wrote and I was hoping I could Get some feedback.

Wanted By Many
Wanted by many
taken by none
looking at some
waiting for one
dudes perpetrate all the time
spit all in my ear
tryna climb
the ladder to mi heart
tryna get all up in here
but i keep mi guard up
cause i never really can trust dudes
cause most of 'em lames the others is lust dudes
I don't know why I settle
settle for less
why am I always going thru this mess?
why can't I choose what's best?
for me
who I am
who I wanna be
taking all of my energy
killing me,
inside,
sometimes I wanna cry
I don't even know why I'm still alive
dealing with this pain
tryna get thru this rain
making me insane
sometimes I want it to go all down the drain
why
why does my life have to be so indecifable
why am I going thru this?
this is just high school
but when I think about it all
I take a deep breath
and stand tall
think bout how far I've come
searching
looking for the one
wanted by many
taken by none
looking at some
waiting for one

Chris Brown & Rihanna [Who's Right, Who's Wrong, & Who Deserves What?]

Ever since February I think 9th, when that whole situation kicked off with them people have been slamming on Chris Brown just looking at how he kick her ass. Don't get me wrong he was dead wrong for beating her that bad BUT, it was reported that she slapped him first n that it wasn't the first time. She knows he has anger problems n he know she got 'em too plus he defully knows he should neva hit a female but they both got into an argument before and she slapped him n he shoved her but he didn't hit her. It's not fair to just slam him and not call her on hers. She may not have whipped his ass like he did her but still she shouldn't have hit him. My thing is tha first hit is a freebie hit me again n I'll beat ya down. But personally I think both is dead wrong and that they should each chill out. But really what is tha point of putting this couple on blast for? Bobby n Whitney been kickin each other's behinds for Goodness knows how long. U got R. Kelly having sex with lil gurls n he still making records like come tha heck on. Ike n Tina other examples, I'm not sayin it's right but people weren't as hype bout them as they are wit Chris B n Ree Ree, it's not that deep, it's serious but it ain't dat deep 4 people to be so hype over. It's them so let them deal wit it. Although I still support Chris B 100%. Keep ya head up Chris.

All Tranquilo/Tranquila Today

Today is all tranquilo/tranquila day just chill out and have fun enjoy the day. Carpe diem.

Sooo In My Bag N Sooo Much Swag

Today I'm soo in my bag, like my swag is so sick. I'm extra happy today but best believe I'm gonna be a IN MY BAG. Before two weeks ago, I was like extra depressed. Now like my whole facade is different, my swag changed. I checked my swagga and I got it right this time. Life is hard and living it ain't such a picnic either. Whether you go through good times or bad, there's always a way to live through them and prosper. That's what I learned, and it's honestly true.

ON BLAST THURSDAY - ¡Ay Dios Mio!

Every Thursday YOU comment my blog and tell me what YOU wanna talk about and what's up in YOUR life. Let me know I'd really like to hear from you. Need ADVICE? Then comment me and I'll be sure to answer your questions. I'm always gonna be there for all my supporters.

Men, Boyz, Males In General - Are There ANY GOOD Ones Left?

Many female wonder if there are any good men left in the world because let's face it, about 90% of the male species have cheated are no-good, players that will do and say anything to get a woman in bed. BUT there is that little 10% very, very tiny, teeny, that actually respect, love, and trust women. They treat them right, the way they should be treated. Not many of men like them are left. But to get on the FLIP-SIDE of things, about 50% of women do the same as the men and sometimes they do stuff that you couldn't even imagine. Those are the ones that do turn some of the GOOD men bad. Just the same as vice-versa. It's easy for a good girl to go bad, but remember once they're gone, they die forever. And that basically means that this girl or guy is or might not take it out on the next person. And the cycle continues. In most cases, people that don't deserve the person they're with, don't care about them, they hurt them and make them feel like crap. But soon when enough is enough, the person they were with starts to do the same thing but they get so lost in it, that it becomes who they are. So be careful about what you do to people, it alters who they are, and maybe who they can become.

Today's Motto: "Be A DIVA"

Since Beyoncé says that Diva is a female version of a hustler, and I know that a lot of females are hustling whether it be hustling in the books or hustling in the streets getting money, you doing what you need to do to get on and do what you gotta do so today...BE A DIVA!!! :-)

The Best Songs Ever!!!

In my opinon I think that "Halo by Beyoncé" is the best song there is out now. Her I Am...Sasha Fierce was crazy. I mean mad crazy and I enjoyed it. I don't think she topped B'Day but she came out with something just as hot.









The second best song I love is "Heart Ain't A Brain" by Chris Brown. I absolutely love that song. It's oh so true for many relationships you wanna end it how it started but deep inside you still love that person. Your heart is telling you that you still love them and it's hard to let that go once you've fallen for them. I know how that feels because I've been in that type of situation before.

Is This Luv?

To me love is just a meaningless word it has no real significance in my vocabulary. People throw it around like it's just a common thing to say "I Love You" but honestly, it kind of is. A lot of people say it and don't mean it they just let their emotions and hormones get the best of them. So in actuality, when people say those words, they don't mean anything by it, it's just a heat of the moment word. It may sound harsh and cruel but that's the reality of it all.

The Best Thing Since Electricity

Music is in my opinion the best thing since electricity, most of us can't live without it. If I didn't have my music I think I would have died or boredom ages ago. The best part is that there's always a variety of music to listen to so there's never a boring moment.